look no pants
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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