DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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