there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
