I bet he comes in French.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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