I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
