I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
