Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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