I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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