I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
