and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
