So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i've created a new STD.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
