We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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