My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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