You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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