She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
