she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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