I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
