i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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