how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
