you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
