I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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