you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
