he wants to bone in the snuggie
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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