as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
