Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
