Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
