So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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