Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
They are going to name an STD after you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
