We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
