i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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