The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize