He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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