it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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