is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
