i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
