CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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