whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
