How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
