I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
