hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
