Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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