she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
