dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
