i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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