Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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