so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
