My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
