would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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