# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
