I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
